Goats in the car

No.25 of 50 – I think Dad felt guilty for losing the hamster, so he drove us to the farm and before we knew it, we were shoving two goats into the back of the car. Apparently they were going to be our new pets/lawnmower.

Hamster walk

No. 24 of 50 – For some reason Dad decided to take my sister’s hamster for a walk in the garden. He seemed surprised when it ran off into the undergrowth and disappeared forever.Hamster walk

Family Day Out

No. 23 of 50 – on a rare family outing to McDonald’s, Mum suddenly felt compelled to put her bare foot on the table and told everyone to look at her bunion, then I remembered why we never went out.

Family Outing

Chinese New Year

No. 22 of 50 – It got on my nerves when I got asked about Chinese New Year ’cause my source of information came from the same place as everybody else’s!

Chinese New Year


No. 20 of 50 – I used to think that bullies were morons, then I learned that they actually hate themselves more than the people they’re bullying, and that’s really sad.


All gone Wong

No. 19 of 50 – Mum tried to marry me off to David Wong from Wong’s Garden. I was horrified ’cause he was a hideous pizza-faced twerp.

Arranged Marriage


No. 18 of 50 – Smiffy, my brother’s mate, had bright ginger hair and a ton of freckles. I don’t know if the word for freckles exists in Chinese, but Mum used to say Smiffy’s face was covered in ‘woo yin see’, which translated means ‘fly sh*t’. Mum was never one for tact.