Month: July 2017

Dad’s feathery fiend

No.42 of 50 – My little sister found a half dead baby sparrow in the alleyway and gave it to Dad. After a while, the story got round that he’d nursed it back to health and they ended up having their mug shots in the Coventry Evening Telegraph.

Arty farty indie music fan

No.41 of 50 – I spent most weekends in Woolies, Our Price or HMV sifting through the records. Now and then I’d pull one out that looked interesting, in the hope that other people in the store would think me interesting for doing so.

Preggars!

No. 40 of 50 – Couldn’t believe it when Mum told us she was up the duff ’cause a) There would be EIGHT years between my little sister and the baby and b) It meant that Mum and Dad ‘DID’ ‘IT’! (Baaaaarrrf!!!)

Birdtrapping – a little unethical

No. 39 of 50 – in the 70s, Uncle showed me how to catch sparrows using the chippy’s bin full of scraps. It’s cruel when I look at it now, but back then I didn’t know any better, and neither did Uncle. For kids growing up in 1950s China, it’s probably the only entertainment they had.

Auntie’s worst idea…ever

No. 38 of 50 – Auntie asked if I wanted my ears pierced. Desperate to be trendy I said yes. Little did I know she was going to do it with her bare hands – what a psycho!

 

Stupid mutt

No.37 of 50 – We didn’t have much luck with animals. After our goats exploded/got sent away for kleptomania, a new dog appeared from nowhere. She turned out to be the most gormless pet we’ve ever had.

I didn’t ask for this

No. 36 of 50 – There was a six year gap between me and my little sister. She was rubbish to play with.