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Illustration for my new book – Dad and Sparrow

No.42 of 50 – My little sister found a half dead baby sparrow in the alleyway and gave it to Dad. After a while, the story got round that he nursed it back to health and they ended up in the Coventry Evening Telegraph.

Illustration for my new book – Records

No.41 of 50 – I spent most weekends in Woolies, Our Price or HMV sifting through the records. Now and then I’d pull one out that looked interesting, in the hope that other people in the store would think me interesting for doing so.

Illustration for my new book – Preggars

No. 40 of 50 – Couldn’t believe it when Mum told us she was up the duff ’cause a) There were¬†EIGHT years between my little sister and ‘it’ and b) It meant that Mum and Dad ‘DID’ ‘IT’! (Baaaaarrrf!!!)

Illustration for my new book – Birdtrapping

No. 39 of 50 – in the 70s, uncle showed me how to catch sparrows using the chippy’s bin full of scraps. It’s cruel when I look at it now, but back then I didn’t know any better, and neither did uncle. I think it’s what kids growing up in 50s China did for entertainment.

Illustration for my new book – Auntie

No. 38 of 50 – My auntie asked if I wanted my ears pierced. Desperate to be trendy I said yes. Little did I know she was going to do it with her bare hands – what a psycho!

Illustration for my new book – New dog

No.37 of 50 – We didn’t have much luck with animals. After our goats exploded/got sent away for kleptomania, a new dog appeared from nowhere. She turned out to be the most gormless pet we ever had.

Illustration for my new book – Little Sister

No. 36 of 50 – There was a six year gap between me and my little sister. She was rubbish to play with.

 

Illustration for my new book – Wasps

No. 35 of 50 – me and my bro used to go through people’s bins for fun.

Illustration for my new book – Friends

No. 34 of 50 – I was shy and awkward and uncool. Against all odds, I made friends with a girl who was the complete opposite.

Illustration for my new book – Billy

No.33 of 50 – Billy broke into the storage and ate half a sack of hops. They swelled in his stomach and made him burst.