Dodgy mate
No.33a of 50 – My little sister’s first ever best friend chewed gum like a ruminating cow and wore more make-up than Boy George. I never told her so ’cause she looked like she could have punched my lights out quite easily.
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Author Sue Arty farty indie music fan
No.41 of 50 – I spent most weekends in Woolies, Our Price or HMV sifting through the records. Now and then I’d pull one out that looked interesting, in the hope that other people in the store would think me interesting for doing so.
Author Sue Preggars!
No. 40 of 50 – Couldn’t believe it when Mum told us she was up the duff ’cause a) There would be EIGHT years between my little sister and the baby and b) It meant that Mum and Dad ‘DID’ ‘IT’! (Baaaaarrrf!!!)
Author Sue Birdtrapping – a little unethical
No. 39 of 50 – in the 70s, Uncle showed me how to catch sparrows using the chippy’s bin full of scraps. It’s cruel when I look at it now, but back then I didn’t know any better, and neither did Uncle. For kids growing up in 1950s China, it’s probably the only entertainment they had.
Author Sue Auntie’s worst idea…ever
No. 38 of 50 – Auntie asked if I wanted my ears pierced. Desperate to be trendy I said yes. Little did I know she was going to do it with her bare hands – what a psycho!
Author Sue Stupid mutt
No.37 of 50 – We didn’t have much luck with animals. After our goats exploded/got sent away for kleptomania, a new dog appeared from nowhere. She turned out to be the most gormless pet we’ve ever had.
Author Sue I didn’t ask for this
No. 36 of 50 – There was a six year gap between me and my little sister. She was rubbish to play with.
Author Sue A sticky end
No. 35 of 50 – me and my older brother used to go through the other shop’s bins for fun. The best was the supermarket’s because sometimes you’d find food, like biscuits and cereal, that was still good enough to eat. But one day, we took the lid off and there was a smashed jam jar covered in wasps. They got dead angry when we prodded them, and then they chased my bro around the car park and stung him eleven times.
Author Sue I made a friend
No. 34 of 50 – I was the shy, awkward, uncool new kid at school. But against all odds, I made a friend. The only thing we had in common was that we were both weirdos…and got bullied for it.
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2026 Sue Pickford Cheung.
